It feels like I can’t sleep anymore. I feel like I can’t trust myself to make good decisions and the right choice anymore. I cant decide if I’m going to become a person that I love or hate. My relationships with God is basically God pursuing me constantly and fiercely and me running as fast as I can in pursuit of Him half of the time and the other half I’m refusing to even look in His direction. Why can’t my love for Him be enough. Why can’t obedience come naturally to me? Why does my life have to be so unbalanced? I need money, but work feels like it’s killing me a little bit each day. It’s slow and then really busy and then slow and then dead and then really packed and this stop and go pace is draining me so much….and then I get home and I’m so anxious about everything that I can barely go to sleep so I’m not getting any rest. I have circles under my eyes, I’m breaking out more than I ever have before in my life, my hair is looking awkward and I need to lose weight and tone up. 

This is my current state of mind. Life isn’t really going all that badly, but this is what’s going through my head most of every day. I’m going a little crazy. Any kind of help would be appreciated…maybe prayer? I hear that works.